Romancing the Wife

love16-50In our quest to find out the best gifts men can get for their wives, Dads for Life approached 20 mothers and asked, “What is one thing dads can do to show their love for their wives?”. The responses that came back were succinct and read like recipes for cultivating a lifetime of love and romance, withstanding the test of kids and time.

Julie Mak, Mother of 1

When Andrew buys me my favourite chicken rice and gives in to our special needs child, I feel loved. I don’t need him to buy me any branded stuff or anything expensive, which I can get on my own…just chicken rice will do.

Julie with her husband Andrew Lee, both 41 and civil servants, and their son Siang Meng, 13.

Julie with her husband Andrew Lee, both 41 and civil servants, and their son Siang Meng, 13.

Anna Oh, Mother of 3

I’m a physical creature so I like hugs and kisses every morning. I also enjoy quality time like whipping up a meal together for our family or curling up on the couch to watch a movie.

Full time mum, Anna, with her husband, Joshua Fong, 40, a trader and their 3 children Ken Tern, 5, Xun-e, 3 and Zu er, 10 months. Also in the photo is Joshua's mother.

Full time mum, Anna, 34, with her husband, Joshua Fong, 40, a trader and their 3 children Ken Tern, 5, Xun-e, 3 and Zu er, 10 months. Also in the photo is Joshua’s mother.

Jade Tee, Mother of 1

The dad can show his love by giving the wife more emotional support. Usually the mum can be tired from taking care of the kids or working during the day. If he is more attentive to what she likes or needs, and if he spends 5-10mins talking to her before or during bedtime, it makes a huge difference.

Jade Tee, 30, banker, with husband Linhui, 30, civil servant and their son, Joel, 2 1/2 years.

Yvonne Yap, Mother of 1

When the husband makes the effort to come home early from work to help with the chores like sterilising bottles, clearing the trash and even to care for our son at night. But just as important is when we spend time together even though the kid’s a light bulb and it’s a hassle to go out sometimes.

Full time mum, Yvonne Yap, 31, with husband Benjamin Tan, 33, compliance officer, and son Jeremy, 15 months.

Grace Leo, Mother of 1

When the husband gives the wife a good massage at the end of a long day and tells her that he appreciates all the time and effort that she has put in for the kids.

Grace Leo, 32, with husband Lim Zhi Siang, 35, both managers, and daugher Keryn Lim, 19 months.

Leemeng, Mother of 1

I need my husband to give me a sense of security by standing and speaking up for me, especially in front of his mother. That will make me feel more loved. I am thankful and blessed that he takes care of and spends time with the family.

Full time mum, Leemeng, 54, with husband Derrick, 55 and son Jun, 20.

Wendy Sui, Mother of 2

I feel loved when my husband tells me he still loves me regardless of my weight or aging look, and wants me to stay healthy.

Teacher Wendy Sui, with husband Dave, a general manager, both in their 40s, and sons, 14 and 15 years.

Esther Tong, Mother of 2

To me, feeling loved is an emotional security; it can never be satisfied by material means. Every women yearns for a loving husband and dad in the house. To make his wife feel loved, it’s not enough to spend time with his wife, a dad must also desire family bonding time. Eg. doing activities that he may not really enjoy, but for the benefit of the children and wife. A closely knitted family gives a sense of love and strengthen the couple’s marriage as they go through the unforeseeable ups and downs in their lives. There is no fear in love. With love, there is no room for insecurity.

Esther Tong, with husband Roy, both 48 and managers, and children Carmen, 20 and Gerald, 18, both students.

Shereen Ng, Mother of 3

What works for me is being made to feel that I am his wife first and mom second. So, going out on dates to fobbing off the kids so that we can travel and actually planning it makes me feel loved and not just the carer of his kids.

Shereen Ng, with husband Daniel Tan, both 38 and teachers, and kids, twins Jordan and Evan, 7 and Dylan, 4.

Jasmine Kang, Mother of 1

Always remember that before she became your child’s mum, she is your wife first.

Full time mum, Jasmine Kang, with husband Kenny Kuah, civil servant, both 31, and daughter Kelly, 4.

Veronica Tan, Mother of 2

What makes me feel loved is when my husband makes me feel like the most important person, despite our busy schedules. One way of doing this is when he supports me in our disciplining or disagreements with our children, as it is our family value that parents always have more authority in the household. Spending quality couple time is also important.

Veronica Tan, 59 and husband Richard Tan, 57, both entrepreneurs. They have 2 children, Grace, 33 and Aaron, 31.

Iris Lin, Mother of 1

When he offers to help with the household chores!

Iris Lin and Peter Tan, both 37, with their daughter Phoebe Chen, 17 months.

Balbir Kaur, Mother of 3

I will definitely feel more loved if my husband were to communicate his feelings for me more expressively, like sending me love notes every now and then about how much he cares for me and how much our relationship means to him.

Balbir Kaur, 55 with husband Jai Singh, 65 and their 3 children and young nephew.

Sim Soo Wei, Mother of 1

It depends on the love language of the wife. My love language is acts of service: sweet talk means little to me but helping me with the child goes a long way. A dad’s involvement in the nurturing and daily caring for the child matters a lot, like playing with her, reading to her, feeding her, and teaching her values .

Sim Soo Wei, 33 with husband Sim Liyang, 32 and daughter Kai Xuan, 7 months.

Ho Yoke Leng, Mother of 3

When he helps in the housework when I am at work, so that my burden is lessened.

Ho Yoke Leng, 70, with husband Lee Wing You, 73. They have 3 children, Anthony, 45, Andrew, 41 and Angela, 36.

Joyce Chua, Mother of 1

My husband is usually not a very expressive person, so when he gives me little surprises like a Valentine Day’s card, I feel happy and loved. I also appreciate it when he shows consideration towards me by picking up after himself and leaving things neat.


Joyce Chua, 64, with husband Malcolm Ho, 62 and son Isaac Ho, 33.

Lilian Tan, Mother of 2

Whenever my husband accompanies me to do grocery shopping, which is something that he never fails to do. This is despite him being a busy sales rep who prefers to relax at home at any given chance. I appreciate his positive attitude which shows how much he cares for the family.

Lilian Tan with husband PS Lim, both 58. They have a daughter, Clara, 25 and son Jonathan, 20.

Nur Jamilah Harun, Mother of 1

Being there for the family and knowing that he is just a phone call away, helps. No matter how busy he is, he will always make time to at least listen and give us his two cents’ worth. We’ve been married for almost 17 years and we’ve known each other for almost 20 years. He started out as a friend before he became a boyfriend, a husband and a father. Till today he is still the friend I go to whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on. I know that if everything else fails, we’ll still be friends.


Nur Jamilah Harun 38, and husband Arjunadi Abd Rahman 44, both teachers, and their son, Muhammad Sirhan Arjunadi, 15.

Angela Lee, Mother of 1

When my husband accompanies me to all the places that I want to travel to, even if it takes an 8 hour long train journey.

Angela Lee with her husband Dixon Yang, both in their mid 30s, and their daughter, Lyn, 9.

Low Chiap Weng, Mother of 2

When my husband is honest and sincere about his flaws and mistakes. I myself uphold honesty, and I would not want him to hide these things from me.

Low Chiap Weng, 63, with husband Tay Siok Huay, 62, and daughters Amelia and Amanda Low, both 33 and 29 respectively.

love your wife

In the travails of married life, daily acts of service, meaningful companionship, and expressions of love and appreciation are key ways that fathers can romance their wives as they journey together in close partnership. Such small but significant actions do indeed go a long way to building a lasting romance that stands the test of time.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
Mignon McLaughlin

About the Author: The Dads forLife Resource Team comprises local content writers and experts, including psychologists, counsellors, educators and social service professionals, dedicated to developing useful resources for dads.

Categories: Fatherhood 101

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